Category: research notes
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What people say when you ask what they wish others had done or said – a research note
In the research project, I asked respondents what they wish someone had said or done. In another post, I’ll unpack the categories of responses. However, as I was going through the 127 responses to this question, a handful stand out for their honest reflections on how diverse our experiences and responses are. +++
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Grieving during the holidays
One Christmas, Nancy and I gave small gifts to my family. They were the tiny-size baby food jars with a little note in each one, letting people know that the following Christmas a baby would be joining the celebration. We laughed, and we cried a little. Kathryn Anne was born in late July after those…
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What do I do when someone loses a loved one? – some survey results.
Most of us struggle figuring out how to help when someone’s loved one dies. We don’t want to do the wrong thing. We want to find the exact right thing. We worry about timing, about cost, about eloquence, about what other people will do. I understand. I’m a hospital chaplain, often spending time with people…
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A research summary as of 11/2/2022
“When someone dies, what can I say or do that’s helpful?” I hear that question all the time. And, as a hospital chaplain, I offer answers. (I even wrote a book about it.) But I want to know more about what actually helps. I’m asking people what they found helpful. And I’m gathering a bunch of those…
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What I do.
In our hospital system, chaplains attend to every death. We are the ones who complete the form that designates the funeral home, signed by the next of kin, witnessed by us. We make sure that our coworkers have connected with the organ donor network, have considered whether to connect with the coroner. We talk with…
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What I know so far (9/13/2022)
I’ll be writing occasional research notes on my “Being Helpful in Loss” project. +++ The survey was opened to the public on September 2. Since then, I’ve shared it to my newsletters, and Dr. Lee Warren shared it in his weekly newsletter. Both of our audiences are aware that we talk and write about grief…
Being Helpful in Loss 